Illogical Fear… Is it Keeping You From JOY?

I decided that 2019-2020 is going to be the year of pursuing joy in whatever way I can.   

My commitment to this intention has meant exploring a lot of things I’ve never done before, or even considered doing before, mostly because fun has not always been a prerequisite for me to feel productive, or to progress forward. It wasn’t always part of building my overachiever attitude.

I have been reflecting on my successes in life. What I have come to recognize…in most, if not all cases, the more joyful I have been, the better I have performed in my business, personal life and general well-being. So, I made a commitment to myself to spend a year (to start) focusing primarily on things that bring me joy…and exploring what those things actually might be.

Which brings me to the pictures. These are photos of me with my real estate investing mastermind group, challenging ourselves and our fear of heights, walking on the outside of the top of the CN Tower in Toronto. 

What you don’t know is…with everything within me, I really didn’t want to do this. I would never admit this to my mastermind group…(well, until now) but I tried to come up with excuses why I couldn’t go. But my commitment to the team and figuring out new things that bring me joy…kept me showing up.

Honestly, even up to the last minute, I think my subconscious was trying to help me out, because I managed to forget my running shoes. I am a walking girl…I never forget my running shoes. I’m embarrassed to admit I had a few moments of relief, thinking maybe I just found a legit way out of this thing. I mean, there is NO WAY they are going to let me walk around the top of that building with a pair of flip flops on or wearing the heels I brought for dinner.

To my chagrin, upon arrival, they had a snug pair of tennis shoes, waiting for me. I was officially about to walk the CN Tower…

No turning around now without severely destroying my reputation as a team member and calculated risk taker. It was, put-on-your-big-girl-pants time and figure out how to survive through it.

We spent an eternity on the ground floor getting into our security suits, with every staff member double checking our straps, and harnesses. We traveled up to the launch area and they checked us again along with tethering us to the bar with a rope that could have held all our weight if needed. There was no logical way we were falling from this track. Mentally I completely understood this, but still, logic didn’t prevail, instead fear uncomfortably had settled in.

Our guide took us a few steps onto the metal walking track…I had a ton of hesitation but at this point my competitive streak wasn’t going to allow me to be the wimp of the group… I was going to keep the internal “HOLY s%$#” to myself and I prayed that it wasn’t written all over my face.

One by one we took a step towards the edge and raced back to security. The second trick was to stick our toes over the edge. This was by far for me the scariest trick we did all day. I struggled here to remember I was so tethered, that I could completely collapse and literally go NO WHERE. In the last seconds of this toes-over-the-edge trick I glanced up and looked out at the city. It was a completely gorgeous day, the temp was warm, the skies were clear and we could see for miles…I was in AWE. In that brief instant I got clarity of what I would have missed out on, had I decided not to go. The views were absolutely breathtaking. It was like a switch flipped within me. The illogical piece of my brain turned off and the joy, wonder and sense of accomplishment came out in full force. 

Somehow I had surpassed my self inflicted irrational terror barrier. I had stepped over my massive fear and guess what I found: nothing but exhilaration. No one was falling, no one was getting hit by lightning, nothing but fear was getting lost that day. 

We did three or four more tricks from there, including this one in the photo where my butt is completely over the edge. I did this one with zero hesitation, pure joy, and delight at this simple fear I had overcome and the realization I found a new source of FUN!!!

Grateful to these folks for both cheering me on and bringing on the challenge in the first place.